One way of improving your life and how you feel about yourself is by using Self Esteem Affirmations. Many of us suffer from a poor self image or low self-worth, often stemming from our childhoods. We could discuss more about where these feelings come from, but I’d prefer to focus on what we can do about them.

Let’s start by defining what an affirmation is. It’s simply a declaration that something is true. The purpose of using them is to help us focus on a desired positive outcome, or change the way we think. Here are a few tips on how to create your affirmations:

1. Keep them positive, avoid words like "don’t", "can’t" and "never".
2. Make them short enough to remember without looking at them.
3. Use words that you connect with on an emotional level.

Here are a few examples of my favorite affirmations:

1. Every day in every way, I get better and better.
2. I am totally adequate for all situations.
3. I release all criticism.

Now that we have some declarations to start with, let’s establish some criteria for using them effectively. They say that repetition is the mother of learning, so it’s very important to repeat our new phrases as often as possible. To start with, I suggest once daily for a week, right before you go to bed. The next week try saying them once in the morning and once again before you fall asleep. After that, you can increase the frequency to 3 or more times a day.

I have a few suggestions on how to get the best results from doing your affirmations:

• Take a few deep breaths before you start, try and relax as you begin.
• Say them out loud in front of a mirror while you watch yourself.
• Speak with emotion, like you really mean what you are saying.
• Don’t beat yourself up if you forget or miss a session.

It may take some time for you to feel comfortable hearing yourself saying these words out loud, just do your best and know that how you feel will change over time. You may wish to write your affirmations on several 3 x 5 cards and keep one by your bed stand, one in your car, one in your purse or wallet and even one in the bathroom.

You may find it helpful to set a reminder in your calendar or set your alarm to remind you to say your new self esteem affirmations on a regular basis. Your life will improve, as long as you keep working on it.

Author: Steve O’Sullivan

Steve O’Sullivan combines spirituality with technology to assist people in improving their lives with the practices of meditation, affirmations and visualization. He is the creator of The Chi of Love Meditation CD and The Abundance Break affirmation CD. Find more free affirmations at My Self Esteem Affirmations.com

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Feeling uncomfortable in the presence of members of the opposite sex? Are you too shy to make new friends or to pursue new activities? Do you stutter at times, mostly while talking to people you’re not familiar with? Do you easily get jealous if your loved one’s attention is diverted to someone else? Do you easily get envious when you see other people enjoying what you don’t have? You may be suffering from low self confidence and need some help to cope better with the challenges that life throws your way.

Below is a list of the 5 most effective self esteem builders used in many social therapy groups:

1. Keep a notebook where you can list down your achievements, even the smallest ones. Make it a point to regularly update and read the contents of this notebook. Of all the self esteem builders we will be tackling, this is the easiest and probably the most effective, since it will reinforce your sense of self respect with truths you have listed down yourself.

2. Constantly challenge yourself to face your social fears. Many of the fears you may have are probably unfounded. People won’t think you’re weird. People won’t laugh at you. People don’t think you’re unattractive. Discover these truths by challenging yourself everyday. Approach a total stranger today and just say hi. If they greet you and smile back, it can only mean that you are not as unlikable as you think you are. Tomorrow, approach someone else, but he/she should belong to the opposite sex. Keep
challenging yourself and before you know it, you’ll be enjoying a new level of self confidence.

3. Share your feelings with your family members. Most self esteem issues stem from problems regarding familial ties. By strengthening these relationships, you’ll be able to eliminate a major cause of your self esteem problems.

4. Get someone who can be your partner for this particular activity. Ask them to list down 10 things they like about you. This is a great way of garnering someone else’s thoughts about you. Not knowing what another may think of you makes you assume the worst, hence, this activity aims to prove that your fears are indeed unfounded.

5. Open up to the possibility of dating. Date as many people as you can. Sometimes, they’ll reject your show of affection, but that’s okay. That’s normal. Nothing’s wrong with that. Eventually, you’ll find someone who’ll appreciate – and love – who you are. People say that of all the self esteem builders out there, this is by far the best.

The 5 self esteem builders above are some of the most effective steps to help increase your confidence. There are more, of course, but starting with these will increase your sense of self-esteem and encourage you to continue improving your image of yourself.

Author: Maureen Oliver

To learn more about increasing your sense of self-worth, take this free 7 part self-esteem e-course. Discover more great tips on building your self-confidence at Affirmations For Success.

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It is no secret that highly successful people in any field of interest are those who have learned to eliminate negative thoughts from their minds. Almost everyone knows the value and power of building a positive self esteem. For this reason, lots of people around the world have shown an increasing interest in self help and personal development programs. It is now common for self help enthusiasts to spend thousands of dollars each year on motivational books, tapes, and seminars. While investing money for your personal development is a good thing, there are also alternative ways by which you can boost your self confidence at little or no cost. Instead of spending thousands of dollars each year, you can choose to boost your self confidence by engaging in free self esteem activities.

Free self esteem activities are convenient to do because you can do them at home and in your spare time. You do not need to attend formal seminars or hire a personal adviser to deal with self esteem issues. In lots of circumstances, the key to a happier life is right at your own doorstep. If you will just take the time to discover free activities aimed at developing your emotional strength, you will be rewarded many times over by the benefits of having a more positive outlook.

Reciting positive affirmations is one example of a free self esteem activity. This is proven to be effective because words are indeed powerful tools for changing the way we think and act. Positive affirmations are a set of words and sentences that declare thoughts of hope, confidence, courage and inspiration. When read and recited aloud on a regular basis, these affirmations become part of the active mind of an individual. The best thing is that you can create your own set of affirmations. All you have to do is get a stack of index cards and write positive phrases on each card. This will be more effective if the words are written in the first person, such as "I am not afraid to face challenges", or "This day is going to be the best day in my entire life". Write affirmations that best fit your own personal circumstances and goals. If you read and recite them aloud on a regular basis, you will be surprised on how it can dramatically change your mindset.

Engaging in conversations with positive people is another free self esteem activity. Positive people radiate a certain sense of energy and enthusiasm which is very contagious. If you associate yourself with these people, there’s a greater chance that you will catch their aura of confidence. On the contrary, the best way to have a poor self esteem is to constantly associate with negative thinkers and emotionally depressed people. This is the reason why you should carefully choose the people who influences your way of thinking. Spend a greater part of your time with positive, happy and successful people, and you will gradually become like them.

There are many examples of free self esteem activities, such as engaging in sports, being part of a support group, attending free self improvement classes in the community, setting realistic goals, and many others. Whatever activity you choose, the important thing is that you take the courage to change yourself for the better. Once you make that personal commitment, no one can stop you from reaching your full potential.

To view a FREE Video which shows you how to quickly and easily destroy negative thinking patterns and become more confident and powerful overnight, Visit http://www.econfidencebooster.com

Author: Ian K Lewis

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Information on Self Esteem Improvement and Raising Self Esteem in Children.

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Parents’ self-esteem directly affects that of their children. There are some contributors to low self-esteem in adults. Sometimes simply being aware helps to define what it is that you do and then to quit so your kids won’t follow the same pattern in their lives.

1. Listen to your self-talk

When a criticism, mistake or comment becomes blown it up into a reflection of your self worth, you are hurting yourself. An example might be if you had fast food for dinner. You might say to yourself "I let my kids have junk food. Why am I such a rotten parent?" STOP IT! Instead say, "Sometimes I have to make choices so I am not too tired. Junk food, as a treat, will not harm my kids."

Then there are the self-talk tracks that play back in our heads, negative and criticizing remarks such as "I am so disorganized. No wonder I can’t find anything." It becomes a form of brainwashing because if you hear it enough you will begin to believe it is true. Therefore be aware of what you are saying to yourself and then consciously change negative thoughts to positive ones. "Everyone misplaces things. Next time I will file it in a specific place."

2. Do not expect perfection

Expecting perfection is another sure-fire way to lower your self-esteem because you will never meet that goal. Do the best you can do at this time and be satisfied. Be as kind to yourself as you are to your friends. Remember good enough is good enough!

3. Say "thank you" when you receive a compliment

Most people have to learn to accept a compliment. When someone compliments you, do not discount the remark or put yourself down. Smile and say "thank you" and then be quiet!

4. Stop saying "Should have, Would have, Could Have"

The "shoulda/woulda/oughta creature" is the person who exerts lots of energy in guilt. "I should spend more time with my family." Either change your behavior or don’t complain. Use words like "next time" or "from now on."

5. Accept change as part of life

In today’s world all people are constantly coping with changes so think about what change means personally and then the way and style that you respond to change. Embrace it. "Wow this is going to be interesting. I wonder what will happen."

Author: Joan Craven

Joan Craven is an author, professional speaker, creator of http://www.inexpensivekidsfun.com grandmother, mother and has a Bachelor of Education and an Early Childhood Diploma.

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Improving low self esteem changes the way a person sees oneself. It is said that all self-esteem is formed during adolescence. One’s self esteem have been greatly affected by how a person has been dealt with and related to by those close to them, particularly their parents.

A great deal of people these days suffer from low self esteem and there is therefore a great need for different ways of improving low self esteem throughout the modern world. Low self esteem will affect all areas of a life including relationships, confidence, ability to meet and get on with people as well as the ability to develop a rewarding career. A bad case of low self esteem could well lead someone through a
very miserable and lonely life.

Fortunately a low self esteem comes from within a person and their belief towards themself and therefore improving low self esteem at any time in a life is very much possible, given the right guidance and support. If you are someone who is not only suffering from low self esteem but is also looking for a way of improving low self esteem, please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. There are literally millions of people around the globe in the same situation you are in.

Improving Low Self Esteem

There are lots of different ways of improving low self esteem, one way is to form a very positive image of oneself in the mind’s eye and focus on that image. This basically means that you should look upon yourself in a more favourable way and reassure yourself that you do have abilities and talents. You need to be able to love yourself if you are serious about improving your low self esteem.

Negative thoughts should also be cast off as they will only affect your subconscious view and pull your self esteem down. To do this, you must be able to spot such a thought on its way into your mind and be able to reject it. The best way of ensuring these thoughts never get in is to replace them with positive thoughts. If you find yourself thinking you cannot do something then simply convince yourself that you can and over time you will see an improvement in your low self esteem.

Positive affirmations are a very powerful way of improving low self esteem as they reinforce your new positive way of thinking, which in turn creates a change in your subconscious and therefore a change in your life as well. Write down a positive saying or sentence and make sure you repeat it to yourself throughout the day on a regular basis, especially when you feel a negative moment coming on. This will help.

Finally, get yourself around positive people and the people you spend time with rub off on you. This is another sure fire way of improving low self esteem.

One of the easiest ways of improving low self esteem is by using brainwave technology. Morry Zelcovitch is a master in this field and you can get a FREE copy of his report from my website Better Mind Better Life.

Author: Oscar B Jones

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Overcoming low self esteem may seem an impossible task, but there are many people who suffer from low self esteem – the feeling that they are inadequate, unworthy, or incapable of performing well or succeeding – and this can have a debilitating effect on all aspects of their life. People with low self esteem generally lack the confidence to improve themselves or their situation and often allow themselves to be taken advantage of or exploited by others. This last characteristic – being exploited by others – only reinforces the feeling of inadequacy and creates a vicious cycle that only leads to a lower self assessment of value and an increased willingness to be used by others.

Step 1 in Overcoming Low Self Esteem – Recognizing The Problem

All people undergo brief periods of depression and low self-esteem from time to time, but most people quickly move past this and do not allow these periods to permanently define their self worth or allow others to capitalize on it. This leads many people with a serious problem to believe that their low self esteem is normal and that most people have the same view of themselves. The view that having low self esteem is perfectly natural and normal often means that people with a problem do not recognize it as such. If you sincerely lack self confidence and believe yourself to be lesser than others for a prolonged period of time – more than just a couple of months – there is probably something wrong.

The first step to combating the problem of low self esteem is recognizing the problem as such and deciding to put forth a conscious effort to correct it.

Step 2 in Overcoming Low Self Esteem – Recognizing That No One Is Perfect

Building upon the first step, you have to recognize that no one is perfect and that we all have failings. However, this reality does not prevent most people from aggressively pursuing their lives and building up the confidence they need to accomplish their goals and successfully operate in society. The same holds true for you: no, you are not perfect, but this lack of perfection should not be a stumbling block to you achieving what you need and want to in life. Further, this lack of perfection makes you no worse than anyone else and has nothing to do with your inherent worth as a human being. Everyone is stumbling along through life making mistakes, correcting them, and moving on, and you should be doing this as well.

So,the second step to becoming more confident is to recognize that you are like everyone else, imperfect but quite capable of surviving despite this.

Step 3 in Overcoming Low Self Esteem – Focusing On Your Strengths

Though people suffering from low self esteem may not realize it, everyone is good at some things and bad at others. Focus on your personal strengths, the things you are good at and do not dwell on those things you are not good at. Recognizing your strengths and using them to the best of your ability allows you to build up your confidence as well as your self esteem. Even if you are not particularly impressed by your own talents, work with what you have and build these talents as much as you can. Further, once you recognize your talents you can find others that also enjoy these things and practice with them. Playing to your strengths and recognizing – though not dwelling on – your weaknesses will allow to build up your confidence and improve how you view yourself.

This means the third step is to recognize your strengths and weaknesses for what they are and focus on building up your strengths and not dwelling on your weaknesses.

Step 4 in Overcoming Low Self Esteem – Recognizing and Accepting Differences

Like it or not, no two people are exactly the same. Some people will always be better than you at some things just as you will always be better than some people at other things. This is just how the world is, so judging yourself and your self worth by the standards set by someone else is a mistake. In life you may well have to compete with others on a regular basis, but do not define yourself or base your worth on the outcome of these contests. More often than not, there will always be someone out there that is better at this or that than you are, but this does not make you any less of a person. Just accept the notion that you cannot be the very best at everything and do not judge yourself too harshly for failing to live up to the standard set by someone else. By all means do your best, but do not let failure define you.

The fourth and final step to feeling better about yourself is to accept that someone out there is probably better than you at any given thing, so accept doing the best that you can.

Following these four steps is an excellent way to help people with overcoming low self esteem. As you recognize your limitations and accept that perfection is impossible, you will be more inclined to try to do new things. If you focus on your strengths and do the best you can, it is virtually inevitable that your self confidence will improve as will your self esteem.

Often it is that little voice inside your head constantly talking negatively to you that makes you feel like you do, so I would like to give you a free report which will allow you to automatically eliminate those thoughts as soon as they enter your head. Get yours now from: http://www.destroythedemonwithin.com

On this site, you will also find a free video that tells you why negative thinking has to be stopped and reveals the little known image concept, that will allow you to develop a habit of automatically eliminating negative thoughts as soon as they enter your head: http://www.destroythedemonwithin.com

Author: Dian Winter

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Self esteem basically means learning to love yourself and having a higher opinion of yourself, even when firmly facing the challenges of life. People with low self-esteem consider themselves to be unworthy. They are demoralized and have a feeling of insecurity. These people have lack of self confidence. This problem can often be remedied and regained through self esteem affirmations. A self esteem affirmation is a phrase, which, when repeated to yourself daily, can help you feel better about yourself and restore your self confidence.

Every thought we have, any judgment we pass or any word we say is an affirmation. Affirmations are directly linked to our sub-consciousness. They implant any thought, either positive or negative, onto our mind and form a pattern that is repeated many times. Our subconscious then implements these pattern into our daily lives either leading to a positive or negative change. Self esteem affirmations are designed to change your internal beliefs about yourself.

Starting your day with a positive self esteem affirmation has proved to have a very healthy effect on our lives. The basis of using these affirmations is to regain self esteem and to get rid of any negative thoughts we get during the day. Let your mind have only positive thoughts. Thus, the key concept behind doing this is to have positive thoughts. Your mood, your body acts according to your inner thoughts and beliefs. If your inner thoughts are negative you will have nothing but pure failure and demoralize your own self esteem. Remember to utilize self esteem affirmations everyday, and you can learn to keep a more positive attitude. With the assistance and proper utilization of self esteem affirmations, you can turn around everything and easily regain a high level of self confidence and the ability to do whatever you’d like.

The second important part of using self esteem affirmations is start believing in your self. Think and say self esteem affirmations everyday. A good one to try is ‘I am unique and not like anybody else.’ When you say an affirmation, you should try your hardest to sound convincing, which generally helps make your changes happen much faster.

Learn to live in present and only think of the past not as ‘I failed’ but ‘what I did not gain yesterday I will gain it today’.

Another way to boost your self-esteem is to go out and socialize. Utilizing self esteem affirmations such as ‘I can make many friends’ or ‘I can express myself to others’ can give you the motivation and confidence you need to make it happen. Never think that the other person is superior to you. Instead think yourself as unique and special, capable of doing many things. Say a good self esteem affirmation to yourself or out loud whenever you put yourself in this position, and you would be surprised how much it can help you. Your brain will begin, over time, to make the necessary changes.

You need to realize your strengths and weaknesses and be able to discuss them with yourself. You should be able to make an honest assessment of your personality. You should always think that you have the power to make a decision. Remember to phrase your self esteem affirmations in the present tense and include yourself. Thus ‘I am a worthy of having lots of friends’ is much better than ‘I will have lots of friends’.

Self esteem affirmations need to be repeated over a period of time in order to let mind accept your thoughts and beliefs. When repeated many times, both to yourself and out loud, the mind is lead to belief that these thoughts are true or can be made true. To keep track of your self esteem affirmations, write any self esteem affirmation that comes to you on a piece of card in the form of simple words and review that twice a day preferably in the morning and at night. Any negative thought should also be written down on a card. At the end of the day review this negative thought and try to replace it with something more positive such as instead of ‘what if I make the same mistake again’ try writing ‘I will learn from my previous mistakes and try not to make them again’ Try making your own self esteem affirmations which are acceptable to your mind. Review them each day and discover a feeling of regained confidence with self esteem affirmations.

Author: Robert Watson

Robert Watson is a certified hypnotherapist with the ABH and the NGH, and has worked with affirmations and subliminal messages for over ten years. Visit his Subliminal Messages website for more information about using affirmations and subliminal messages to help you lose weight, quit smoking, have a more positive outlook and more.

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When we say someone has low self esteem it suggests you have a condition, a disease, something growing inside of you.

The simple truth is this… You and only You are the reason you are not confident. Nothing and no one else! By you! I mean your thinking processes. Self esteem is nothing more than an idea you have of yourself. It’s just an illusion!

This is not to infer blame, but it is about accepting responsibility for your thoughts and thinking…the route cause of your low self esteem. Just take a leap of faith and trust that if you accept the most fundamental cause is your thinking, you are truly on the right course to finding the confidence you feel has eluded you.

No one, I repeat no one is going to change how you feel about yourself but you. So to change how you feel about yourself means getting in touch with how you are feeling at any given moment, and turning that negative emotion into a positive emotion. It’s about putting a different interpretation on events, seeing them with different eyes. Re-educate yourself to break the negative emotional aspect that these happenings have over you so you see them from a different perspective.

Ever felt you were having a so called bad day? Stop, just for a moment and just witness exactly your thinking at that moment, and you’ll have your answer as to why you are ‘Thinking’ you are having a bad day…’Your Thoughts.’

We can look at the reasons as to why you have low self esteem…bad childhood, bullied, abusive relationship, a series of bad events in your life. There is no getting away from the fact that they might have played a large part in how your thinking is processed now. But you have the choice to let those events that happened, to you, two, ten, twenty years/months ago carry on effecting what you think of yourself and ultimately your happiness, or come to decide enough is enough.

There are many theories as to why we hang on to those hurtful past experiences. One idea is due to the ‘Child Within’ theory. There are whole books written about this. But the basic premise of this thinking is that when traumatic events happen to us as a child we don’t have the emotional capabilities and life experience that an adult has to deal with it, so we shut it away deep inside us where it can stay for years. It’s like having a child’s emotions locked inside an adult’s body.

Low self esteem and lack of confidence like most negative emotional feelings will have had a trigger, and for some dealing with it is helped by understanding it at a deeper psychological level. Unfortunately, understanding it for some will make no difference to how they are still feeling about themselves. That’s because they might have developed a better intellectual understanding of their issues but their thinking process is still the same. Your thinking process will still be the same due to several reasons…It has become habitual, you have no awareness of your thinking and still functioning at an unconscious level, you have adopted a victim mentality, your fear of change, fear of what you might discover.

Let me give you an example: Your boss starts ranting at you because you never produced a piece of work on time. You either start thinking how crap you are at your job, he doesn’t like me etc, etc. OR! you think…I might have taken a bit longer but surely the earth is not going to stop revolving just because he had to wait a bit longer. Or!…I would hate that man’s job, he is so stressed, can’t believe the pressure his bosses are putting him under. Or!…He really has got the worse interpersonal skills ever. This is not to say of cause that you make these excuses to hide what might be a definite lack of enthusiasm or laziness on your part, but if you are really honest with yourself you’ll know when it’s appropriate to take this line of thinking.

The strategy to do this is…Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. CBT is a theory that it’s not situations themselves that upset us, but the meanings we give them. Our thoughts and beliefs can block us seeing things that don’t fit with what we believe is true. In other words, we continue to hold on to the same old thoughts and fail to learn anything new.

Change your thinking change your life.

Ann Redgewell’s own previous chaotic life’s experience has led her to developing a completely free self help web site. This provides the sort of information and tools that she feels would have been invaluable to her when she was coping with depression and anxiety, a survivor of domestic abuse, and bringing up two young children on her own.

Ann more recently was employed for twenty years as a manager in a variety of different care settings, working with mental health, ex-offenders, homeless, sex offenders, victims of domestic violence and learning disabilities (mental handicap).

Her own life’s experiences and her expertise in a variety of care settings has given her great insight and knowledge into the workings of the mind and our behaviours.

Ann’s approach is direct and to the point. It’s time to get real to take responsibility. No more excuses no more procrastination.

The first completely FREE!! comprehensive self help site on the net. Take a look: http://www.self-help-guides-to-go.com3

Author: Ann Redgewell

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Information on Self Esteem Improvement and Activities to Build Self Esteem.

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Although there are many approaches to dealing with it few, in my view, ever address its unconscious driving forces; poor self image and low self esteem…

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When you are planning activities to build self esteem in children there are two aspects to consider. The first is the kind of ethos you will be fostering. Second is to focus in on the component of self esteem you most want to encourage. There are three components to self esteem. These are Sense of self, Sense of belonging and Sense of personal power.

Before you begin your programme of activities stop and think for a bit about the main goal of the activities. First you need to think about the whole group. Which of the above components are most important for the group as a whole? Second think about individuals within the group. Who has particular strengths and who needs more support? Which component is the most important for the person needing support? Third think about the following aspects of the ethos within the group already. How you have been working with the group for long? Do they know you and each other reasonably well? Is it a new group who have never worked together before? (Bear in mind that the same kinds of questions apply even if you are working with one individual.)

In general the component that needs most focus for most people most of the time is a sense of belonging. Many pieces of research have shown that this is the core element to feeling good about yourself. This means that whatever programme of activities you are running, even if the group, or individual, knows each other and you it is really helpful to focus on making sure everyone knows that they bring a unique, special something to the group and that they would be missed if they weren’t there and will be welcomed every time they are there. The following are ways of working with other people that foster this basic sense of connection and create the ethos you need as a firm foundation for any programme.

1. Each child feels respected and valued for what they uniquely bring to the group or relationship.
2. There are firm but fair rules which you all consistently apply.
3. The children have been involved in the decision making process about some of the things that affect their lives.
4. The children trust you and each other to be respectful and responsive.
5. The children feel cared about.
6. There is shared positive language as the norm
7. Mutually respectful relationships are encouraged and enjoyed.

Having these things in place will mean that the children are in an environment where they can most easily build their self-esteem, and also most easily learn. Once you have planned to embed this kind of climate with the group the activities you form into a programme can then focus on self awareness activities to build the sense of self or experiences that build a sense of efficacy and competence which help to form personal power – or both – depending on the needs you identified early on in your planning.

Look out for our articles on specific games which build self esteem.

Author: Amanda Strang

Amanda Strang is a psychologist and psychotherapist working with parents and families all over world. Her interest is in what makes healthy, happy families and she has developed many training programmes for children, parents and carers to build skills to make successful family units. Self esteem building is at the core of her work and her passion is to see families who have found it hard to communicate and show their love for one another begin to get closer and warmer as they feel better about themselves and gain the skills they need to communicate. She has 25 years of experience of this work and still feels as strongly about it now as she did at the start.

If you want to know more about building self esteem activities [http://www.thesoftstuff.net] Feel free to visit http://www.theselfesteemadvisoryservice.com

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Information on Self Esteem Improvement and Building Self Esteem Children.

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Parenting can be tough, very tough. Nevertheless, it is so full of rewards that it is well worth it. Children will push you and test you. They will misbehave and break the rules. They test us as parents and steal our hearts. As parents, it is our responsibility to help build our children’s self-esteem. We encourage their success and help them gain confidence to help them lead successful, productive lives. Basically, all parents express a desire to instill good, positive self-esteem in their children, but many lack the parenting skills necessary to achieve that goal. Many parents simply do not know how to go about helping their child or children build self-confidence.

When a parent steps into the role of confidence builder for their children, they often have difficulty in creating an environment that is conducive to such endeavors. It is so difficult for some parents to let go of their children that stifle their children, hold them back and, in some cases, even damage their children’s self-esteem. This is usually not intentional, but the effects can last through the child’s life. If a child lacks self-confidence and the parent or parents do things that instill that further, even inadvertently, the damage can last well into adulthood. Low self-esteem can affect performance in school, relationships with friends and later, problems in the workplace or in seeking a job.

So what can parents do to instill self-esteem in their child? There are no easy answers, but the first step a parent can do to build self-esteem in their child is to let go. This does not mean abandon the child, is simply means allow the child to make some of his or her own decisions. A primary reason that many parents are apprehensive in giving their children any freedom or control over their lives is that the parent actually lacks self-esteem. Low self-esteem is not hereditary genetically, but it is passed on from parent to child. Children learn what they live and parents who project negative self-images teach their children to do the same thing. Even if the parents try to promote high self-esteem in their child, it may not be enough. A large part of parenting is teaching by example. Sure, you have your lessons and rules, but it is what you don’t say to your kids that speaks volumes.

Give your children room – and permission – to fail. Failure is a fact of life. But a child is never allowed to fail if he or she is never allowed to strike out on his or her own. A parent can begin encourage sound decision making in children when they are infants, before they can even talk. When you are purchasing an outfit for your baby, make two selections. Hold up both outfits and ask, "Do you like the blue one better, or the yellow one?" Whichever outfit the baby looks at the most or the longest, choose it, put the other away and say, "Oh! You like the blue one? Me too!" Put it in your basket and purchase it. When you give children the freedom to make their own decisions and they know that you trust them, they are not likely to stray.

It is a matter of independence. Be a parent, but allow your child to make certain decisions alone. You can set reasonable boundaries, but give in a little and compromise. Encourage your child to make choices and walk him or her through the consequences of the choice. When a child misbehaves it is important that he or she realize and acknowledge that not only did they make the choice to commit the offense, they also made the choice to accept the consequences associated with the offense.

Parenting is exhausting and exasperating but it is the most rewarding job you will ever have.

Are you Thrilled? Claim a free Self-Esteem Boosting Gift Right Now! http://www.TheSelfEsteemSystem.com/article3 .

Author: Kristin Johnsson

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